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just shipped off this morning the grant application I've been working on since February.

1,5 million NKr over three years... which works out about $40,000 / year for three years. sweet, but it's pretty unlikely I'll get it. last year they handed out 13 of these fellowships, from a total mass of 371 applications.

I'll just keep crossing my fingers til August, when they start sending out the first batches of rejections. do cross them for me from time to time, if you've got nothing else to do.

wow. I just discovered a secret cache of BHD (Before Harddisk Crashed) pictures I had stored on an old laptop that was sitting downstairs in my father's library. lots of lush visual material from my warehouse life in Dalston.

(too lush at times. you can see the rat feces on the table...)

but still. thank the God of Unexpected Recoveries for that.

I'm having very vivid dreams at the moment. often they involve recuperated people from my past. people I haven't seen for a long time.

just last night I dreamt twice about my friend's sister.

remembering the first dream in the second dream as a previous occasion. it undermines your sense of reality when that happens. the in-dream memory of the previous dream underwrites your sense that what you're dreaming is real. makes it even more surprising to wake up.

she was quite realistically present in my dream, too. in terms of mannerisms and speech patterns. she spoke + acted completely unlike what I would normally expect from a dream segment.

get what I mean? entities in dreams usually act in undefinably 'predictable' ways. familiar. like they're aspects of your imagination [oh reeeeally...]. this familiarity is only perceivable, I suppose, when one of them doesn't. the odd one out then stands out.

I used to hang out with her in kindergarten, as we grew up on neighbouring islands, but I haven't really seen her much since then. weird. I found her addie on the web and sent her an email, anyway